Yuh yuh yuh yuhyuhhh and also ppl (I’m included) are scared to live and take any risk. Can’t have a hang without a partiful and the invite list, can’t go out alone without your phone to protect you from looking lame (and prevent you from meeting strangers and missed connections). The ten step routines and the gym memberships are to look good.. online?? In posts?? What happened to the gentle cringe of “I work out so I can look hot naked”?? Personally I am as young as I’m ever gonna be. And I try to remind myself that the time to be messy is always now. Not to oversimplify - but honestly, isn’t being messy a lot of times just living in the real world? Taking risks, making mistakes, hurting feelings, breaking your own heart - there’s good and bad ways to do it, but by god at least it’s real!! Leave the fear behind. Enter human connection. It sucks and hurts and is the most amazing thing about living. I’m mostly scolding my own self with this comment. Amazing read
Addendum (sorry!!!): people live their lives like the most important thing is to make sure they’ll look 30 when they’re 40. Babe!! The most important thing is having a fun time so that as you age, you give less and less fucks! Stop obsessing over the wrinkles and trapping yourself in a war you’ll never win - start obsessing over the hottie at the bar! Shoot that shot!! LET the body keep the score, stop trying to preserve it in a cyborg state
Thank you for putting into words what I’ve always found so frustrating and weird about Gen Z discourse (and so often this discourse isn’t even written by Gen Zers but by voyeurs from other gens). I’m a millennial albeit on the cusp of Gen Z - it’s almost like “if I can be perfect and sanitized enough, then the world around me won’t be so despicable” which is a TRAGIC way to live. Turn your anger towards the boomers who created this hellscape, and meanwhile live your life and get messy as absolute fuck.
As someone who stopped drinking and does genuinely enjoy activity based hangs with friends where I’m doing “wholesome” things I also live for the party. I gave up drinking for mental health reasons but I stay going out and chain smoking and gossiping. Why can’t we have both….why can’t people be messy and then also take care of themselves in a way that’s truly not performative? I low key am a millennial…
Anyways “A Bit Fruity” with Matt Bernstein did an episode on the Saratoga water guy and it was really fucking good I recommend
btw this is absolutely not shade at people who are sober for genuine mental health reasons ❤️ more the performative sobriety as culture that i side eye
i wonder if it’s because a lot of the clubs are shite & those small one off events provides a feeling of exclusivity. never mind if they’re good or not. straight people throughout history have managed to create party spaces where they are all miserable and would rather be at home.
"straight people throughout history have managed to create party spaces where they are all miserable and would rather be at home." made me choke on my water. too true.
Loveeee, dignify debauchery again, that shit is sexy
Will also say that people “choosing a lifestyle” as if it’s a binary between partying and reading books is irksome in general, regardless of which camp you’re deciding to box yourself into
Eat healthy, smoke a cig, stay up late, go to yoga, idgaf but keep these weird binaries far away from me!!!!
You had me laughing the whole way, this an awesome piece! As a 30-something who got to hang out with a lot of 20yos recently (second degree), the softness of this generation baffles me. So we’re three couples hanging out at someone’s house and we’re NOT all banging each other?!?!? Fuck, man, risk some shit and try and make a bit more out of life
This is so true!! And the worst part is, the people who do have the time and money to go out all the time clubbing are way too deep into that ket bag. Like come on babes, do too much md and say something you’ll regret the next day like the rest of us
Your writing is sooo excellent, and poignant and delightfully cutting. I live in Amsterdam and never heard of some of these things but I am going to start using “email job” thank you
"We’ve convinced ourselves that we can optimize our way out of social decline through routine and willpower. That we can buy happiness and eliminate the need for vulnerability, regret, and pain. Everything automated, everything efficient, everything under control." So good!
This is good and really funny and I laughed out loud multiple times on a quiet Sunday morning on a coffee shop patio in New York City. I like your writing so much.
as a sober alcoholic lesbian party girl who lives in New York City I have never actually met another sober Gen Z person whose doing it for health reasons and not because they’re also an alcoholic. I think it could just be the circles I run in though. I love gabbing at the club and chain smoking in the outdoor section and we gotta get back to it !! I had surgery a few weeks ago and couldn’t go out and at the end of the healing period I was ITCHING to dance on a platform and make eyes at a butch across the dance floor ….
Yuh yuh yuh yuhyuhhh and also ppl (I’m included) are scared to live and take any risk. Can’t have a hang without a partiful and the invite list, can’t go out alone without your phone to protect you from looking lame (and prevent you from meeting strangers and missed connections). The ten step routines and the gym memberships are to look good.. online?? In posts?? What happened to the gentle cringe of “I work out so I can look hot naked”?? Personally I am as young as I’m ever gonna be. And I try to remind myself that the time to be messy is always now. Not to oversimplify - but honestly, isn’t being messy a lot of times just living in the real world? Taking risks, making mistakes, hurting feelings, breaking your own heart - there’s good and bad ways to do it, but by god at least it’s real!! Leave the fear behind. Enter human connection. It sucks and hurts and is the most amazing thing about living. I’m mostly scolding my own self with this comment. Amazing read
Addendum (sorry!!!): people live their lives like the most important thing is to make sure they’ll look 30 when they’re 40. Babe!! The most important thing is having a fun time so that as you age, you give less and less fucks! Stop obsessing over the wrinkles and trapping yourself in a war you’ll never win - start obsessing over the hottie at the bar! Shoot that shot!! LET the body keep the score, stop trying to preserve it in a cyborg state
doing coke at home on the couch w friends >>>>
Thank you for putting into words what I’ve always found so frustrating and weird about Gen Z discourse (and so often this discourse isn’t even written by Gen Zers but by voyeurs from other gens). I’m a millennial albeit on the cusp of Gen Z - it’s almost like “if I can be perfect and sanitized enough, then the world around me won’t be so despicable” which is a TRAGIC way to live. Turn your anger towards the boomers who created this hellscape, and meanwhile live your life and get messy as absolute fuck.
As someone who stopped drinking and does genuinely enjoy activity based hangs with friends where I’m doing “wholesome” things I also live for the party. I gave up drinking for mental health reasons but I stay going out and chain smoking and gossiping. Why can’t we have both….why can’t people be messy and then also take care of themselves in a way that’s truly not performative? I low key am a millennial…
Anyways “A Bit Fruity” with Matt Bernstein did an episode on the Saratoga water guy and it was really fucking good I recommend
btw this is absolutely not shade at people who are sober for genuine mental health reasons ❤️ more the performative sobriety as culture that i side eye
i wonder if it’s because a lot of the clubs are shite & those small one off events provides a feeling of exclusivity. never mind if they’re good or not. straight people throughout history have managed to create party spaces where they are all miserable and would rather be at home.
"straight people throughout history have managed to create party spaces where they are all miserable and would rather be at home." made me choke on my water. too true.
Loveeee, dignify debauchery again, that shit is sexy
Will also say that people “choosing a lifestyle” as if it’s a binary between partying and reading books is irksome in general, regardless of which camp you’re deciding to box yourself into
Eat healthy, smoke a cig, stay up late, go to yoga, idgaf but keep these weird binaries far away from me!!!!
You had me laughing the whole way, this an awesome piece! As a 30-something who got to hang out with a lot of 20yos recently (second degree), the softness of this generation baffles me. So we’re three couples hanging out at someone’s house and we’re NOT all banging each other?!?!? Fuck, man, risk some shit and try and make a bit more out of life
This is so true!! And the worst part is, the people who do have the time and money to go out all the time clubbing are way too deep into that ket bag. Like come on babes, do too much md and say something you’ll regret the next day like the rest of us
This is maybe one of your best!
Your writing is sooo excellent, and poignant and delightfully cutting. I live in Amsterdam and never heard of some of these things but I am going to start using “email job” thank you
"We’ve convinced ourselves that we can optimize our way out of social decline through routine and willpower. That we can buy happiness and eliminate the need for vulnerability, regret, and pain. Everything automated, everything efficient, everything under control." So good!
This is good and really funny and I laughed out loud multiple times on a quiet Sunday morning on a coffee shop patio in New York City. I like your writing so much.
as a sober alcoholic lesbian party girl who lives in New York City I have never actually met another sober Gen Z person whose doing it for health reasons and not because they’re also an alcoholic. I think it could just be the circles I run in though. I love gabbing at the club and chain smoking in the outdoor section and we gotta get back to it !! I had surgery a few weeks ago and couldn’t go out and at the end of the healing period I was ITCHING to dance on a platform and make eyes at a butch across the dance floor ….
I don’t even really wish there was more sober party spaces. I wanna dance with the drunk girls!
I needed to read this butt ass naked on the couch at 10am with a brackish cup of coffee and unbrushed teeth. Thanks for another banger!
Girl you read my damn mind, word for word
I was literally just talking to my therapist about this lmfao, LOVE this article !!!