I think you've really poetically captured how many of us feel when we first come to terms with irrefutable signs of ageing.
"Youth and partying are two things you hope will never end until the lights turn on and the harsh fluorescence exposes the facade. The fear of facing reality pushes you from afters to afters as the moon ticks into a sun, avoiding the crushing moment when you come home and are finally, utterly alone. It hits you with the magnified force of all the borrowed time you spent avoiding the inevitable."
I absolutely agree that accepting the inevitability of aging is important to finding meaning, and I'm so glad that this has helped you.
But I also think that how we feel we're "supposed to age" is for the most part social pressure- not biological determinism. The physical degradation in our bodies and minds that happens from 25 to 30 or 30 to 35 is trivial- what ages us a lot more than our chronological destiny is the habitual changes pressured by society. We're "supposed" to go out less, to settle down, to move to cheaper areas to save money to buy a house, to have children, and in the process losing time for exercise, hobbies, friends, and even our own identity.
If you don't want to go down that path, I think there's no reason to be so concerned at 27. You're so far ahead of the curve in coming to terms with ageing! There's no reason your 30s have to look that different from your 20s, or your 40s look that different from your 30s. I was also out raving for Pride, and I saw a ton of fit 50-year-olds partying the night away. You have a long, long time left :)
“Once I stopped daydreaming about my fictitious, divinely anointed future, I started to come to terms with the life I have now, and slowly, I began to notice that it is not all suffering.” mhmmmm
my jaw was on the floor at least 3 separate times while reading this. you have actually done it. explained what aging feels like in a way that a younger person can fully digest and comprehend.
EVERY young adult entering their 20s should read this article and get a necessary dose of reality: you are just like everyone else, and you too will have to leave the club no matter how much you want the experience to keep going.
becoming a full-fledged adult something to be excited for! not everyone gets to make it to 27, and aging is a gift. BUT, you must be careful not to lose your grasp of the present.
youth is fleeting, and it’s extremely difficult to realize when you are stuck in that odd window (~18-22 when nothing’s really changing and you don’t feel any older). but it really is just a window, and all those years of feeling the same will smack into you like a semi-truck one day in your late-twenties as you wonder where all the time went.
those were just my takeaways, and you really have changed the way i take in the world. thank you for writing this and thank you for helping me savor my youth a little bit more before it’s gone <3
any writing that opens with Joan Didion is an immediate yes. feeling a little guilty as someone still caught up in the meaningless 18-19-20-21 blend but you give me hope i'll still be thoughtful and articulate when i grow up :)
I only just found you but you’re quickly becoming one of my favorite writers. I turn 27 in exactly a month so I’ve been mulling over what I’ll write to say goodbye to 26 the last few days, feels so special to stumble across u now of all times (especially as a queer North Carolina girl recently transplanted to a Midwest city— what you have to say about the spirit and the necessity of southern femininity rings sooo true). Thank you so much for writing and sharing, every read so far has been beautiful ❣️
I always look forward to what you will write next, and this felt very timely personally. I hope you can also be proud of yourself for putting your thoughts and feelings out there. You're doing something with your life!
So, you've had the realization that you live as though you're already dead, and you want to live fully, but will you? Do you think your revelation will translate into action? I'm not trying to be facetious, I'm genuinely asking. I'm younger than you, but last year I had the same revelation. The problem is, I've been struggling to do anything with it. The only meaningful difference for me is that now, instead of rotting in blissful ignorance, I do so while feeling horribly guilty, too aware of how I'm just waiting to die. I'm doing my best to make changes, to live meaningfully and by what I value, but man, it sucks, and it's such a struggle. I can only speak for myself, but it seems like recognition is the easiest step, and also the one you can get stuck on seemingly indefinitely.
27 has felt like I'm finding the bounds of me mind for the first time, and the kindness that people give to the young is all but gone.
It was depressing at first but I realised that there was so much left to see and experience within the bounds of that mind and that the kindness of strangers wasn't something that I needed anymore to validate myself and my choices in life.
sometimes I think about how long my grandmother, who is 88, has been old and how long she spent being middle-aged, and how I have only really begun to enjoy my life once I became an adult
I think you've really poetically captured how many of us feel when we first come to terms with irrefutable signs of ageing.
"Youth and partying are two things you hope will never end until the lights turn on and the harsh fluorescence exposes the facade. The fear of facing reality pushes you from afters to afters as the moon ticks into a sun, avoiding the crushing moment when you come home and are finally, utterly alone. It hits you with the magnified force of all the borrowed time you spent avoiding the inevitable."
I absolutely agree that accepting the inevitability of aging is important to finding meaning, and I'm so glad that this has helped you.
But I also think that how we feel we're "supposed to age" is for the most part social pressure- not biological determinism. The physical degradation in our bodies and minds that happens from 25 to 30 or 30 to 35 is trivial- what ages us a lot more than our chronological destiny is the habitual changes pressured by society. We're "supposed" to go out less, to settle down, to move to cheaper areas to save money to buy a house, to have children, and in the process losing time for exercise, hobbies, friends, and even our own identity.
If you don't want to go down that path, I think there's no reason to be so concerned at 27. You're so far ahead of the curve in coming to terms with ageing! There's no reason your 30s have to look that different from your 20s, or your 40s look that different from your 30s. I was also out raving for Pride, and I saw a ton of fit 50-year-olds partying the night away. You have a long, long time left :)
was anyone else playing Spore on the family computer 🤓
i still watch spore cell stage videos to relax
relax?? i was fighting for my life 😭😹
Turning 27 hit hard for me this year too 🥲 but you’re making things happen now (in real life!!) and I’m proud of you!!
“Once I stopped daydreaming about my fictitious, divinely anointed future, I started to come to terms with the life I have now, and slowly, I began to notice that it is not all suffering.” mhmmmm
my jaw was on the floor at least 3 separate times while reading this. you have actually done it. explained what aging feels like in a way that a younger person can fully digest and comprehend.
EVERY young adult entering their 20s should read this article and get a necessary dose of reality: you are just like everyone else, and you too will have to leave the club no matter how much you want the experience to keep going.
becoming a full-fledged adult something to be excited for! not everyone gets to make it to 27, and aging is a gift. BUT, you must be careful not to lose your grasp of the present.
youth is fleeting, and it’s extremely difficult to realize when you are stuck in that odd window (~18-22 when nothing’s really changing and you don’t feel any older). but it really is just a window, and all those years of feeling the same will smack into you like a semi-truck one day in your late-twenties as you wonder where all the time went.
those were just my takeaways, and you really have changed the way i take in the world. thank you for writing this and thank you for helping me savor my youth a little bit more before it’s gone <3
any writing that opens with Joan Didion is an immediate yes. feeling a little guilty as someone still caught up in the meaningless 18-19-20-21 blend but you give me hope i'll still be thoughtful and articulate when i grow up :)
I only just found you but you’re quickly becoming one of my favorite writers. I turn 27 in exactly a month so I’ve been mulling over what I’ll write to say goodbye to 26 the last few days, feels so special to stumble across u now of all times (especially as a queer North Carolina girl recently transplanted to a Midwest city— what you have to say about the spirit and the necessity of southern femininity rings sooo true). Thank you so much for writing and sharing, every read so far has been beautiful ❣️
u posting this 3 days before my 28th birthday rot day is so cruel…
happy birthday and thank you for sharing <3
I always look forward to what you will write next, and this felt very timely personally. I hope you can also be proud of yourself for putting your thoughts and feelings out there. You're doing something with your life!
oovoo call is CRAZY
So, you've had the realization that you live as though you're already dead, and you want to live fully, but will you? Do you think your revelation will translate into action? I'm not trying to be facetious, I'm genuinely asking. I'm younger than you, but last year I had the same revelation. The problem is, I've been struggling to do anything with it. The only meaningful difference for me is that now, instead of rotting in blissful ignorance, I do so while feeling horribly guilty, too aware of how I'm just waiting to die. I'm doing my best to make changes, to live meaningfully and by what I value, but man, it sucks, and it's such a struggle. I can only speak for myself, but it seems like recognition is the easiest step, and also the one you can get stuck on seemingly indefinitely.
turned 27 on the 3rd and can echo most of what is written here. happy(?) birthday to us!
27 has felt like I'm finding the bounds of me mind for the first time, and the kindness that people give to the young is all but gone.
It was depressing at first but I realised that there was so much left to see and experience within the bounds of that mind and that the kindness of strangers wasn't something that I needed anymore to validate myself and my choices in life.
Thank god for the dolls
sometimes I think about how long my grandmother, who is 88, has been old and how long she spent being middle-aged, and how I have only really begun to enjoy my life once I became an adult